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1. |
Inside the Bell
04:56
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i am digging again
under the house
i hope to live in
with the floor pulled away and
the walls separated
the cold air comes in freely
so, hunched I is
where once I’ll live
so, hunched I is
where once I’ll live
and when you say
unknowable
it don’t mean
one day come close
it means you there surrender
it means give up completely
it means whatever’s breathing
you won’t even feel its heat
(it means finish building your house)
to do this thing
you have to hear the bell
from inside the bell
and emerge
deaf and heavy
deaf and heavy
and also ringing
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2. |
Actually Be Seen
03:24
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You were at a monastery
Heaving sick, staying up and silent
You had a bed, and a room
Hot water and bamboo
And in late night concentration
Made your first visit across the hall
To mess around with your sleeping neighbor’s dream
Not just to see what you could see
But to walk in and actually be seen
And you’ve been here too
Looking around my room
Picking up things we both knew
Turning each over, saying:
none of this is new
none of this was ever yours
for I have held it to the light
I have looked it over well
And I can tell
Like those deckhands from treasure island
drunken cutthroats on a boat
with cut lines and “what hope?”
the last two, left to float
we swing and bruise until we lie
tired and too weak to reach
slumped on the deck,
our island looming
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3. |
I Say "No"
03:09
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some people say arise arise arise
live friend live
i say die
i say shade yourself
i say shine what precious light you have into caves
and when it dies out stay in there
i say find life where you foolishly saw graves
some people say to try and try and try
fight and save yourself
i say give
i say send them off
i say shed whatever husk if you are ripe
and if you’re not, be fragrant then
i say give no matter how it hurts, give in
some people say the sky the sky the sky
have you noticed it
i close my eyes
i say nothing now
there’s a ringing in my ears that’s faint and high
and when I listen close to it
it says…
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4. |
Gas, Chips, Infinity
03:46
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gas and chips
and a strip of pavement over abyss
and a home
somewhere in this
there are two infinities
a line up and down
and one that stays on the ground
with chemical swamps
and people in the house
smelling, sounding
this place is found out
and though here it's still cold
there is definitely heat coming from some old coal
but my mind slows
in the thickness of a bog
the last stage of a lake
the last stage of a lake before it's gone
and in two brief moments today
the water and earth moved
like it always used to
like it always used to
as a sheet thrown high
floating down lovingly over the bed
it will again
as a sheet thrown high
floating down lovingly
over the bed
it will again
it will again
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5. |
Fortune
02:47
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up on the cliff we wore fog
and at the bottom, or what I thought was the bottom
two lights shone
and two gray whales rose and
in a Chinese restaurant by the fish tank
two fortune cookies cried:
“the love of your life is right before your eyes”
years later in the shade of that same cliff
i read another and walked further up the shore
and more lights shone
(bright white) whale bones
and then a whale without its bones
we asked someone fishing in the surf
what do you know about the whale?
“dead,” he said
“dead”
and we went home
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6. |
But I Wanted Fury
02:43
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i finally drew myself
with pointy three-fingered hands
and deep lines
and eyes as dark as mine
i wrote the way it seems from here
a look of furrow
but I wanted fury
or just to see it
to look and believe it
but this little thing has legs now that it’s grown
so on it goes
though still none fall before it
early on I learned a silence
closing eyes in the mist
just listening
just listening
somehow
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7. |
Deep Snow
03:37
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the hunt it is over
the wolf it is dead
and me and my sister
drive home in the sledge
and way up above us
gathering like a cloud
smoke from the morning
from the fires, put out
at austerlitz
at borodino
i know i'll meet him soon
is he right here in this room?
a heavy quilt unrolls
someone you know is in the tent
so go walk through the soaked earth
see who
at austerlitz
at borodino
i know i'll meet him soon
is he right here in this room?
i know i'll meet him soon
and i know what i'll do when i do
three days ago it came
a sudden, sinking change
like dueling in deep snow
and realizing
how cold
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8. |
Wind
02:26
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in this wind
don’t shout it down
don’t fight with it
blink twice
you’ll ride
you’ll be riding with it
you’ll rip apart buildings
and blow down sheep
and be the little gust that pushes some frozen climber into sleep
down from the truck
and I hear Ramona say:
"when John’s momma died
we were here in the field
and this heaving
wind came through
and we knew
we just knew"
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9. |
Arrow
03:43
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i flung an arrow deep into the woods
just to see if I could find it again
and i did
i thought whatever you lose
if you just keep walking through the swamp
you’ll come to it
and I took to flinging arrows
you know, i tightened my bow
but this time I really lost one
shootin’ out in the snow
and I got a little brother
he’d go shootin’ with me
but it seems he never lost one
he’s got ten in his sleeve
i thought whatever you lose
if you just keep walking through the swamp
you’ll come to it
you’ll come to it
but gone is gone
as gone ever was
i said "gone is gone"
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